Vitsejä!

  • Keskustelun aloittaja Keskustelun aloittaja Kipi I
  • Aloitettu Aloitettu
GAZOZ.FI
10% ALENNUS KOODILLA PAKKOTOISTO
Senseless sanoi:
Mies ja vaimo istuivat katsomassa TV-ohjelmaa, joka käsitteli psykologiaa ja sekoitettuja tunteita, kuten olla samanaikaisesti onnellinen ja surullinen.

Mies kääntyi vaimon puoleen ja sanoi: "Kulta, tuo on pelkkää roskaa, lyön vetoa, että et voi kertoa minulle mitään sellaista, mikä tekisi minut onnelliseksi ja surulliseksi samanaikaisesti "

Vaimo sanoi sitten: ” Sinulla on isompi kulli kuin kenelläkään kavereistasi ”
Click to expand...

func sanoi:
Miksi ninjat ovat vauvoina vaarallisia?

-ne saavat hyppypotkuraivareita
Click to expand...

Ihan helmiä! :D
 
"Ranskalainen, saksalainen ja suomalainen otti kilpailun kuka saa naisen huutamaan kauemmaksi aikaa yhdynnässä. Ranskalainen nuoli ja rämpläsi, nainen huusi 20 minuuttia. Saksalainen nai 2 tuntia, nainen huusi koko 2 tuntia. Suomalainen nai vartin, pyyhki mulkkunsa Marimekon verhoihin ja lähti kaljalle, nainen huusi 2 viikkoa"
 
a lady goes to see the gynie and says: " doctor, im worried, everytime i open my legs i hear GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED! " the doctor replies "dont worry ma'am a lot of cunts sing that"
 
fuufaa sanoi:
a lady goes to see the gynie and says: " doctor, im worried, everytime i open my legs i hear GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED! " the doctor replies "dont worry ma'am a lot of cunts sing that"
Click to expand...

hahah :D parhautta
 
Muut meni yli, Muhammed Ali!:D:hyvä:
 
The best engine

The best engine is vagina
It can be started with one finger.
Ii is self-lubricating.

It takes any size piston.
And it changes its own oil every four weeks.
It is only a pity that the management system is so f#cking temperamental.
 
A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.
Paddy ordered a whisky.
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink..
He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"
Paddy handed his drink back and said

"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"
 
Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says, "You know what I want, don't you?"

"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole feckin' bed by the looks of it!"
 
An Arabic family was considering putting their grandfather Abdullah in a nursing home.
All the Arabic facilities were completely full so they had to put him in an Australian home.
After a few weeks in the Australian facility, they came to visit Grandpa. ''How do you like it here?'' asks the grandson.

''It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful'', says grandpa.
''We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone.''
''Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents'', Abdullah says with a big smile.
''There's a musician here-- he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'!
There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him 'Your Honor'!
There's a dentist here -- 90 years old.. He hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years and everyone still calls him Doctor!

And me --

"I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me 'The F**ing Arab".
 
The Poker Player

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.'

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.

Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday after noon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p..m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed.

Jim quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'

With a lump in her throat Sue answered 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?'

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.'

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'
 
Miten kärpänen tapetaan?
- Ahdistetaan se ensin lipaston alle ja sahataan sitten lipaston jalat poikki, joten kärpänen jää sen alle.

:hyvä:
 
Wankey sanoi:
The best engine

The best engine is vagina
It can be started with one finger.
Ii is self-lubricating.

It takes any size piston.
And it changes its own oil every four weeks.
It is only a pity that the management system is so f#cking temperamental.
Click to expand...

Tämä on oikeasti hyvä :D
 

Latest posts

Suositut

Back
Ylös Bottom