Vitsejä!
- Keskustelun aloittaja Kipi I
- Aloitettu
10% ALENNUS KOODILLA PAKKOTOISTO
- Liittynyt
- 5.6.2008
- Viestejä
- 2 733
:D Ei helvetti! Onhan se tietty hyvä selventää toi naarakin. LMAO
- Liittynyt
- 15.12.2008
- Viestejä
- 1 770
Pasta Carbonara = Pasta karpo naaraa
E:
Tää vitsin selitys oli kyllä paras vitsi koko triidissä! :D
- Liittynyt
- 14.8.2009
- Viestejä
- 1 199
- Liittynyt
- 3.8.2005
- Viestejä
- 4 667
Pistetään laadukkaimmat ja puhdashenkisemmät tuon yhden linkin takaa:
My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked me "Is that the best you can do?"
So this redneck girl asks her dad to borrow the car. "You know what to do, honey" says here dad, as she rolls her eyes and starts fellating him. "Ew, Daddy, tastes like shit!" to which her dad says "shit, that's right... your brother has the car today."
So I'm having sex with this girl, and I go to put it in her butt, and she clenches and says "Forbidden zone."
"Forbidden zone?," I say, "Thats an awfully big word for a five year old."
A guy from Surrey goes to the doctor. The Doc comes in and asks, "What can we do for you today?"
"I would like to get some birth control for my daughter."
"How old is your daughter?"
"She's 14."
"Is she sexually active?"
"No, she just lays there...just like her mother."
What's 12 inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? ...Crib death.
Two paedophiles sitting on a park bench. A 6 year old girl comes skipping by.
Rubbing his thighs the first paedophile says "Christ look at the body on that."
To which the other replies "Yeah.. I bet she was really something in her day."
A woman goes out clubbing and meets a handsome black dude.
They go back to her place after a night of partying and drinking.
As they're getting undressed, the woman slides up to the black dude and says,
"Go on stud, show me what makes you black guys famous."
So he stabs her and runs off with her purse.
Personally, I don't like to tell black jokes.
Same here, black jokes are racist and racism's a crime...and crimes are for black people.
I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!"
Kinky bitch.
Have you ever had Ethiopian food?
No?
Yeah, neither have they.
What is the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Just fitting in.
Why can't Hellen Keller drive a car?
Because she's a woman.
Whats the best part about raping Hellen Keller?
Breaking her fingers afterwards so she can't tell anyone.
Why does Hellen Keller masturbate with two hands?
She uses one to moan.
What's the most violent book Hellen Keller ever read?
A cheese grater.
Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
Because he's black.
Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"?
Because black people have no rights.
A pedophile and a 6 year old girl go into a dark forest at night.
The girl says "i'm so afraid in this dark forest!" in a whining tone.
The pedophile also looks a bit distressed and answers:
"How do you think i feel? I will have to go all the way back alone!"
Q: Why is aspirin white?
A: It works.
A black student is dropped off by the bus to his waiting father after middle school.
He tells his dad that while he and his gym classmates were showering he noticed that his dick was a lot bigger than the rest of the boys.
He asks is it because he is black. The father replied "No, it's because your are 19.
I am in such deep shit. Today, my wife walked in on me while I was fucking our child.
I don't know what surprised her more: the fact that I was fucking it, or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep it.
Isn't it embarassing when you send a dirty sext to someone by accident?
For example, I sent this text message to my 12 year old daughter the other day:
"I can't wait to get home, get you upstairs and fuck you senseless."
Now imagine how embarassed I would be if I sent that to the wrong person.
What's the hardest thing about finding a dead baby on the beach?
Hiding my erection from the lifeguards.
What do Batman and a black man have in common?
Neither can go out at night without robin.
Q: Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man?
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
How do you get a gay guy to have sex with a woman?
Shit in her cunt.
My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked me "Is that the best you can do?"
So this redneck girl asks her dad to borrow the car. "You know what to do, honey" says here dad, as she rolls her eyes and starts fellating him. "Ew, Daddy, tastes like shit!" to which her dad says "shit, that's right... your brother has the car today."
So I'm having sex with this girl, and I go to put it in her butt, and she clenches and says "Forbidden zone."
"Forbidden zone?," I say, "Thats an awfully big word for a five year old."
A guy from Surrey goes to the doctor. The Doc comes in and asks, "What can we do for you today?"
"I would like to get some birth control for my daughter."
"How old is your daughter?"
"She's 14."
"Is she sexually active?"
"No, she just lays there...just like her mother."
What's 12 inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? ...Crib death.
Two paedophiles sitting on a park bench. A 6 year old girl comes skipping by.
Rubbing his thighs the first paedophile says "Christ look at the body on that."
To which the other replies "Yeah.. I bet she was really something in her day."
A woman goes out clubbing and meets a handsome black dude.
They go back to her place after a night of partying and drinking.
As they're getting undressed, the woman slides up to the black dude and says,
"Go on stud, show me what makes you black guys famous."
So he stabs her and runs off with her purse.
Personally, I don't like to tell black jokes.
Same here, black jokes are racist and racism's a crime...and crimes are for black people.
I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!"
Kinky bitch.
Have you ever had Ethiopian food?
No?
Yeah, neither have they.
What is the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Just fitting in.
Why can't Hellen Keller drive a car?
Because she's a woman.
Whats the best part about raping Hellen Keller?
Breaking her fingers afterwards so she can't tell anyone.
Why does Hellen Keller masturbate with two hands?
She uses one to moan.
What's the most violent book Hellen Keller ever read?
A cheese grater.
Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
Because he's black.
Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"?
Because black people have no rights.
A pedophile and a 6 year old girl go into a dark forest at night.
The girl says "i'm so afraid in this dark forest!" in a whining tone.
The pedophile also looks a bit distressed and answers:
"How do you think i feel? I will have to go all the way back alone!"
Q: Why is aspirin white?
A: It works.
A black student is dropped off by the bus to his waiting father after middle school.
He tells his dad that while he and his gym classmates were showering he noticed that his dick was a lot bigger than the rest of the boys.
He asks is it because he is black. The father replied "No, it's because your are 19.
I am in such deep shit. Today, my wife walked in on me while I was fucking our child.
I don't know what surprised her more: the fact that I was fucking it, or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep it.
Isn't it embarassing when you send a dirty sext to someone by accident?
For example, I sent this text message to my 12 year old daughter the other day:
"I can't wait to get home, get you upstairs and fuck you senseless."
Now imagine how embarassed I would be if I sent that to the wrong person.
What's the hardest thing about finding a dead baby on the beach?
Hiding my erection from the lifeguards.
What do Batman and a black man have in common?
Neither can go out at night without robin.
Q: Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man?
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
How do you get a gay guy to have sex with a woman?
Shit in her cunt.
- Liittynyt
- 20.8.2006
- Viestejä
- 17 775
"Why jews like to watch porn backwards?"
They like to see the hooker giving their money back
"Why jews have big nose?"
Because air is free
"Im not racist, I have an color TV"
"Everyone is nigger in the dark"
They like to see the hooker giving their money back
"Why jews have big nose?"
Because air is free
"Im not racist, I have an color TV"
"Everyone is nigger in the dark"
Link please. Nää oli loistavia. :D
Deleted member 48743
- Liittynyt
- 9.1.2004
- Viestejä
- 1 482
Oliskohan ollut täältä: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/7rxyh/collection_of_totally_offensive_jokes_not_for_the/
"What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
You just KNOW she'll swallow."
- Liittynyt
- 20.4.2010
- Viestejä
- 516
Johanna ja Juulia Tuciainen menivät baariin. Portsari sanoi ovella "Ompa mursutytöillä siinä isot tissit." johon mursusiskokset totesivat "JA VITUT!!!" "SATTUUUUU!!!"
- Liittynyt
- 9.1.2004
- Viestejä
- 1 482
Mikä kohta tässä oli vitsiä, tuohan on täyttä totta? Ainakin viimeisimmän videon perusteella minkä vahingossa näin. :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQxfjuYfiS8
- Liittynyt
- 20.4.2010
- Viestejä
- 516
Niin en tiedä brassailiko mursusiskokset ennen pidätystä sillä että heillä on myös isot vitut. "SATTUUU!!"
- Liittynyt
- 21.7.2004
- Viestejä
- 21 013
Lisää latvialaisia vitsejä!
Joke:
Three men are in ship. One Latvian, one Russian, one Lithuanian. Lithuanian take out one bottle wodka. Russian kill Lithuanian, then drink wodka. Then Latvian wait until Russian drink self to sleep, then kill. Is end.
Joke:
Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.
Joke:
Latvian walk into bar with poodle under one arm and salami under other. Eat salami first.
Joke:
Latvian walk into bar with pig on shoulder. Bartender say, “That look delicious!” But pig say, “No. Is Latvian. Taste is similar to dog.”
Joke:
Little boy Janis Dipers is get trouble, school. After teacher is beat, make also stay detention all alone. While detention, teacher is get horny! Teacher and Janis is make sex. “Janis Dipers!” teacher shout! “But teacher,” Janis say, “I too hungry for energy do that.”
Joke:
Three Latvian girl are walk down street. One have knife, one have gun, one have window. They are meet soldier. Soldier is ask first girl, “Why you are have knife?” “If you try rape me, I stab!” she say. Okay! Second girl, “Why you are have gun?” “If you try rape me, I shoot!” she say. Okay! Third girl, “Why you are have window?!?” “If you try rape me, I jump out!”
Joke:
Latvian is capture by cannibals. Cannibals say, “We are kill you and eat you and use skin for canoe. But you may choose means of your death.” Latvian say, “Okay! You are give me fork, please!” But oops! Is forgot how use!
Joke:
Why is Latvian throw clock out window? Will be no appointments anymore, only endure til death.
Joke:
Man walk in bar with twelve-inch pianist. Is deformed by malnutrition.
Joke:
What is have four wheels and flies? Is body-disposal truck! Many have suicide this week.
Joke:
Two Latvians are argue over wodka. One say, "For wodka, I give you daughter." Friend is say OK. Deal is struck. But he is surprise! She deformed by malnutrition.
Joke:
Latvian psychiatrist tell me to drown my troubles. I go home and ask my wife go swimming. Trouble over. More potato for me. But is no potato.
Joke:
Pirate walk into bar, have steering wheel in the pants. Bartender ask pirate, why have you steering wheel in the pants? Pirate say nothing -- not really pirate, just man, delirious from malnutrition.
Joke:
Three men are in ship. One Latvian, one Russian, one Lithuanian. Lithuanian take out one bottle wodka. Russian kill Lithuanian, then drink wodka. Then Latvian wait until Russian drink self to sleep, then kill. Is end.
Joke:
Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.
Joke:
Latvian walk into bar with poodle under one arm and salami under other. Eat salami first.
Joke:
Latvian walk into bar with pig on shoulder. Bartender say, “That look delicious!” But pig say, “No. Is Latvian. Taste is similar to dog.”
Joke:
Little boy Janis Dipers is get trouble, school. After teacher is beat, make also stay detention all alone. While detention, teacher is get horny! Teacher and Janis is make sex. “Janis Dipers!” teacher shout! “But teacher,” Janis say, “I too hungry for energy do that.”
Joke:
Three Latvian girl are walk down street. One have knife, one have gun, one have window. They are meet soldier. Soldier is ask first girl, “Why you are have knife?” “If you try rape me, I stab!” she say. Okay! Second girl, “Why you are have gun?” “If you try rape me, I shoot!” she say. Okay! Third girl, “Why you are have window?!?” “If you try rape me, I jump out!”
Joke:
Latvian is capture by cannibals. Cannibals say, “We are kill you and eat you and use skin for canoe. But you may choose means of your death.” Latvian say, “Okay! You are give me fork, please!” But oops! Is forgot how use!
Joke:
Why is Latvian throw clock out window? Will be no appointments anymore, only endure til death.
Joke:
Man walk in bar with twelve-inch pianist. Is deformed by malnutrition.
Joke:
What is have four wheels and flies? Is body-disposal truck! Many have suicide this week.
Joke:
Two Latvians are argue over wodka. One say, "For wodka, I give you daughter." Friend is say OK. Deal is struck. But he is surprise! She deformed by malnutrition.
Joke:
Latvian psychiatrist tell me to drown my troubles. I go home and ask my wife go swimming. Trouble over. More potato for me. But is no potato.
Joke:
Pirate walk into bar, have steering wheel in the pants. Bartender ask pirate, why have you steering wheel in the pants? Pirate say nothing -- not really pirate, just man, delirious from malnutrition.
