You know you're an mma fan when:
-when asked you favorite sexual position, you say "back mount."
-it's not "Smoking/non-smoking", it's "gi/no-gi."
-you didn't stand up to collect your high school diploma till you heard
you're entrance music.
-you splice all your sex tapes together and call it a "highlight video."
-you've actually asked somebody "would you rather be g'n'pd by Fedor or high kicked by CroCop?"
-you CANNOT STAND boxing anymore!
-you look at The Rock and mutter "@#%$..."
-your most hated movie is Cradle 2 The Grave.
-when filling a job application, you list "can break an arm in six different places" as a skill you possess.
-when you insult somebody, you call him a "dinky-penus Joe Son ---(fan)---!"
-when asked what you like most about your body, you answer "my elbows, my knees and my heels."
-you just bought your girlfriend a t-top and g-string from TapOut!
-when someone mentions "ounces", you think of leather.
-before going into a hard final, you write an R on the back of your hands.
-when you beat somebody at pool, you do the gravedigger jig.
-you call your bed "the octagon."
-you think Rolls Royce is a Brazillian car manufacturer.
-you saw an Abbot and Costello movie thinking it'd be a long lost Tank fight.
-you shave your head because long hair is a disadvantage.
-you insist people call you the"Salt Lake City Badass."
-you don't hit on girls, you "shoot for the takedown."
-You size EVERYONE up right away to decide what would be the best way to "finish" them...
-People with mullets no longer scare you.
-You start to name your pets and children after mma figures
-Also using bjj postioning/holds/subs to achieve dominance in the bedroom dept when doing the wild thing with your girlfriend!!!
-Worrying that your girlfriend will triangle you when you are in the missionary position and put one arm under!
-When you watch tv & see "any" fighting, you tell everyone what "move" they could have used to win!
-You check your footing in the bar to make sure you won't slip if you shuld have to leg kick someone.
-You ALWAYS go for the double underhooks when giving a chick a hug.
-When you explain to you girlfriend that she has you in her open guard while you are having sex.
-When you see a name beginning with R, you instinctively pronounce it with an H in your head.
-You shout instructions to movie characters during fight scenes.
-You think a rear naked choke qualifies as huging your significant other / Everytime you hug your girlfriend from behind, you instinctively apply a rear naked choke.
-Occasionally you will look at peoples legs and imagine the shock on their face if you gave them your hardest Thai kick.
-Whenever a cool song comes on you imagine it being your entrance song.
-Your wife gets pissed off because you scream at Buffy for fighting too fancy and not punching straight
-When your friends play fight and they see you coming they immediately stop before you jump in.
-When you are watching UFC and my wife who is doing her nails looks up and casually says "He better watch that triangle, and the guys moments later gets locked in a triangle choke to my friends amazement.
-You get upset everytime you watch "hip hop" people "touch gloves" to greet one another.
-You watch a porno and wonder why nobody tries to pass the guard
-You see a man getting mauled by a bear on When Animals Attack and think "Man, the armbar is sooo there!"
-When you have broken your dogs arms twice.
-When you start to forget that spandex does and will always equal ****.
-When you wear shirts that say super macho retarded stuff like "tap or snap" fight wear, blood and pain."
-You test durability of clothes for grappling, kicking, punching and rolling when you buy them
-If you're laying down on your side and your girlfriend tries to spoon you from behind and you tuck and get the knee bar.
-If you constantly key lock things that are long at work like the rake and the shovel.
-When you can no longer watch any Kung Fu movie, or flashy fight scene because you know that stuff doesnt work
-Every time someone comes in for a hug you think they are trying to get the clinch...
-When someone asks you if you dance and the only thing you can show them is your "Tito Dance".
-You drink xyience... oh no, wait you're just an ass
"Put up a shadow... Dana White... pudding... waiting so long... let's get it on baby... swschdsq ... oubloutssdgh..." Tää pitäis laittaa ylioppilaskirjoituksiin englannin kuullunymmärtämiskokeeseen... :D
