Frank and Don’s Combover
Patented 1977
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Common solutions to partial baldness among guys include hair weaves, transplants and hairpieces – methods deemed unacceptable by Frank and Don due to the fact they "generally cost money." So what alternative do they offer to the teeming masses of balding tightwads out there? None other than their patented triple-combover technique, that’s what. Following are Frank and Don’s complete instructions for this mesmerizing mane-management method for those follicly-challenged fellows out there who don’t want to spend another minute despondent over their desolate domes.
"To begin with the subject’s hair must be allowed to grow long enough to cover the bald area, generally about 3 to 4 inches."
"The person’s hair line 2, shown in FIGS. 1-3, and bald area 4 suggest that the hair should be divided into three equal sections, sides 6 and 8, and back 10, in starting the method of this invention."
"The second step is to take the extra hair length from the back area 10 and brushing it forward as in FIG. 4, making sure to cover all the bald area with the hair."
"By placing a hand over the hair now covering the bald area and brushing the extra length hair from either of the sides 6 or 8 the hair styling begins to cover the entire bald area. Care should be taken to brush the hair only as it lies over the hand to avoid messing up the hair under the hand. The hair should be arranged and styled at this step since it will soon be covered. To hold the hair in place, hair spray is now applied."
"To complete the hair styling the hair from the side of the head either 6 or 8, whichever has not been used, is brushed over the bald area, making sure to cover the hair now covering the bald area with a hand. This top layer of hair is also styled and coated with hair spray. By lightly sweeping the hair into the desired style as the hair spray dries, an appearance of a full head of hair is given, as in FIG. 6."